I‘ve started doing something new with my playlist creation (exciting, I know) where I collect the songs I was most excited by or obsessed with during the month into a playlist as a sort of musical diary. A snapshot of what I was really into for that brief window of time. This is nice because I try to listen to so much new music, and I already have ways of hoarding all the stuff I generally like, but sometimes the things I LOVE can get lost in the shuffle. Hopefully this fixes that.

More than that, I try and limit these playlists to songs that mean a lot to me, not just ones that I find musically enjoyable. Songs that impacted me on a personal level in some way.

So, because it’s the end of the month and I’ve just completed the playlist for October, and because we live in an age where everything we ever think and feel for even a second has to be posted online, here is a breakdown of my October music diary.

Porter Robinson - Cheerleader

I’m a newcomer to the world of Porter Robinson but I’m into hyperpop and PC Music and all that stuff so it was only a matter of time I suppose. I tried to listen to “SMILE! :D” when it came out last year but bounced off of it. Until sometime at the start of October when that synth hook got stuck in my head and I had to figure out what it was from. Simply put: this song is a meticulously catchy bit of pop songwriting that just perfectly hits that mark of silly and a little real. “She draws me kissing other guys” is an all-time lyric. She’s just like me fr.

fanclubwallet - New Distraction

I fell in love with fanclubwallet back in my pandemic days when they released a cover of the Talking Heads “This Must Be The Place”. This is one of the singles ahead of their newest album which has been out for a bit but I haven’t listened to it yet because I’m usually late to stuff. But I like the singles. I find Hannah to be an impressively honest and tender songwriter while also having an ear for hooks that cannot be denied. Did you know that people with ADHD will intentionally seek out things that are upsetting to them just to avoid feeling understimulated? As an ADHD-er myself I highly relate to the idea of looking for new distractions. I just realized I called her Hannah which is unprofessional but I don’t know what her last name is.

quickly, quickly - Enything

Maybe a contender for my album of the year? The songwriting is breathtaking and the production is intimate and this is undeniably the “bop” of the record but oh well it’s a sweet song. It’s one of those albums where it’s so good I don’t have anything to say about it other than to check it out. Indie rock is dead, but this is its sexy sad ghost.

Joyce Manor - Well, Whatever It Was

Joyce Manor is one of my favorite punk groups of all time and I didn’t like how soft and pop-y the first single of this upcoming record was but I liked this one better. It’s peppier than they usually are but it’s just as catchy as their other tunes and it has the kind of silly and yet personal lyrics I usually look for in a J.M. tune. I’m sorry to say that it won’t be for everybody and I thought about not putting it in here even. But I did, so I don’t know. Anyway.

Wet Leg - pokemon

There is nothing to say about Wet Leg that hasn’t been said already except maybe that they forgot to put the accent above the “e” in Pokémon so actually they’re fake fans and problematic. Unsubscribe.

Rachel Chinouriri - So My Darling

Chinouriri had the sleeper song of the summer for me last year with “Never Need Me” but I never got around to listening to her album until now. (See? Late to stuff.) It’s good! There’s a lot of great pop/R&B-leaning indie rock stuff on it that I’ll definitely have to revisit at some point, but for me this acoustic closer captured my heart in a way the others didn’t. It’s a sugary sweet and simple love song that does exactly what it needs to, and the way it really pushes Chinouriri’s vocal talent to the forefront just succeeds for me.

Little Simz - Flood

Little Simz just keeps getting better. I love that this song feels so badass but is also musically so reserved and close to the chest. It makes it feel so much more tense. Makes me feel like an edgy street vigilante about to go fight my way through a kingpin’s safehouse. That makes no sense but it’s what it feels like, y’know? Someone choreograph a sick fight scene to this ASAP.

spellcasting - SICK OF IT!

This is the theme song to a really neat pilot animation for a series that I think looks really promising and fun! When I got to the end and realized it was spellcasting doing the outro it only made me more excited to see what comes next. You should check it out if you’re into cute lil indie cartoons and stuff like that.

In terms of the song, it just really captures the manic overwhelming nature of being young and kind of a mess. Relatable!

Beach Bunny - Mr. Predictable

Speaking of songs written for the young and messy, I feel like Beach Bunny has become like the go-to for relatable ditties about your twenties. I’ve been a fan for a while and I don’t see that changing any time soon, because at this point it feels like I’m growing up alongside them, and their music is always right where I need it to be in terms of sound and lyrics. I love the sing-song backup vocals just going “garbage, garbage” over and over. Same.

Cheekface - Sucked Out

It’s Cheekface! Doing a cover! C’mon! It’s fun!

Rico Nasty - SMOKE BREAK

A lot of my life right now feels like I’m oscillating wildly back and forth between uncontainable manic rage and quiet, desperate anxiety and despair. Sometimes I’m so angry and upset for no discernable reason that I feel like I’m going to explode, but I have no outlet for it. This song at least gives me some kind of release, because I can play it way to loud in my car and sing along. Sometimes it makes me feel better and other times it just lets me turn my mind off for a couple seconds.

Metagirl - WINTER RITUAL

The winter rains have started. I’m living in a new city. I’m suddenly facing down the fact that I might be alive longer than my twenties and the decisions I make now build the future ahead of me. Rituals are important. They keep us grounded. I’m trying to figure out what my rituals are. Right now I watch movies every Monday with my friends. I drink a cup of peppermint tea before bed. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see myself.

Junior Mesa - Quit Your Job, Runaway

Every artist has fantasized about quitting their job and moving out into a cabin in the middle of the woods like that girl in Kiki’s Delivery Service. This is probably what my life would sound like if I committed and lived out that dream. One day…..

Soccer Mommy - Here

Soccer Mommy covering one of the saddest Pavement songs somehow makes the song even sadder. It’s the end credits of the movie adaptation of the sequel to your life. Sometimes things end. Sometimes your jokes are bad. I’ll still laugh.

Okay thanks for reading my diary. If you’re wondering why the formatting is different and the email is coming from a different place it’s because I switched off Substack after much deliberation about it. They platform Nazis and shit and I think that’s not cool. If your bar lets Nazis hang out there that’s a Nazi bar. And I don’t want to hang out in a Nazi bar.